Lizzie here! The Mistress has been taking us cats to the vet here lately, one by one. Friday was Molly’s turn. From what the Mistress said, he’s a really loooooooong cat! He weighed 15.5 pounds! He’s a big ginger. That’s to be expected since he’s got some Maine Coon in him. I think I’ve got a bit of Scottish Fold in me. That’s why I’m so adorable. Anyway, the vet trips. Molly checked out okay. Dippity went last week since Tipsy eluded capture. Dippity wasn’t too pleased with that outcome. He checked out okay, too. I hope next week it’s Huey’s turn, not mine. And if it is, I’ll take a page out of Tipsy’s book. I’m good at evading. I’m all good with petting and loving, adoring and fawning, but needles and nasty medicine are a definite NO. Hmm…perhaps the Mistress has a Vet Schedule somewhere written down. If I find it, I can find out when I need to hide….well, that’s all for today! Lizzie out!
Lizzie here! Exciting news! The Mistress has three…yes, THREE!…new covers for past books! They’re available on Amazon and Smashwords RIGHT NOW! Excited? You should be. We are. A new look is always fun- I’m actually thinking of a new look myself. I might try fluffing my fur more. I hear tell that it makes the fur look fuller. That, plus a roll in the dirt…yeah, I could work it. You humans make it so complicated- using hairspray, combs, water, brushes, heat styling tools….just lick your paws and rub your hair, then go roll in the dirt. Instant volume. All those products are useless wastes of money and it takes way longer for you to be ready. Plus, I don’t like the way hair spray smells. Very chemically. Cats don’t like that. Makes us sneeze. Ew. Anywho, I’m going to go try out fluffing my fur- gotta make sure it looks good before I go out looking that way. Before I go, make sure you check out the Mistress’s revamped books! DO IT! Amazon and Smashwords! GO NOW! BE EXCITED! TELL OTHERS! BUY IT! Imagine me striking poses with each phrase- it makes for quite the sales pitch, no? I can practice my poses in the mirror when I finish my fur….then I’ll show the Mistress and she’ll use my pictures to help with sales and I will be a star! Now I’m REALLY excited! Lizzie out!
Lizzie here. It’s been a rough time for us cats and the Mistress- Little Bit has crossed over the rainbow road to be with all the other cats that have passed before him. We all miss him terribly- the Mistress is most distressed because she lost one of her oldest friends. It’s strange to go stalking and not see Little Bit- I miss his critiques of my stalking techniques, and his coarse meow. Molly has stepped into the leadership role and he’s doing pretty good with it. A bit overbearing when it comes to protection, though. Dippity has been telling us stories about Little Bit- each night we get a new adventure. I visit Little Bit’s marker each day (and I think the other cats do, too). Sometimes I think about how he’s up there with all the other cats eating catnip and fishes all day, every day, and watching us from atop a star at night. ‘Course I dunno which star because Little Bit was black- he blends with the night sky. I bet he sits on a different star every night just to confuse me just because he’s Little Bit. It’s okay, thought, because I know he’s up there somewhere. I stick my tongue out at the stars like I used to do to him just so he knows I haven’t forgotten him. He used to say a squirrel would run off with my tongue if I kept sticking it out like that- pft, like a squirrel could come up to ME without getting pounced first! It’s suppertime, so I need to go claim my spot by the food bowls. Say a little prayer for us cats and our Mistress and remember Little Bit when you look to the night sky. My leader, my mentor, my brother, my friend- I’ll be watching the stars tonight. Will you?
Lizzie here! I’m so excited! The weather is getting WARMER! It has been a bit wet lately, but it hasn’t been a super cold wet so I’m happy! The grass is getting greener and taller- perfect for stalking prey. I’ve gotten tired of short, crunchy grass. Makes sneaking up on prey very hard. The trees and flowers are also getting in to spring-shape- pollen EVERYWHERE. This I don’t like. Pollen makes me sneeze. And it makes my fur yellow. And when I try to clean it off my fur, it tastes nasty and leaves streaks. I can’t wait til the pollen business cuts out and all that’s left is warmth and soft, tall grass. Speaking of grass, I found a brightly colored egg in a clump of grass the other day. And in some tree roots. And a bush. And behind some stairs. They’re all over the place. What’s up with that? Did I miss something? Later the Mistress’ young family members were running about grabbing the eggs, whooping and hollering, and then they broke them open. Inside were multi-colored candies! I’ve never seen eggs like this- what kind of chicken lay those things? Is it a candy chicken? Does it taste sweet? Where can I get one of these candy chickens? I think I’ll do some research. I want a candy chicken. Later!
Hello all. I am Dippity Doo. I am most displeased with the happenings and whatnot here in the office. There is a man making the most horrid noise all over the place. It batters my nerves something awful. It’s quite dreadful. I cannot express just how terrible the noise truly is. It is a constant bombardment of these ear-grating sounds until this man leaves. I have come to detest his presence in the office. Even his motor vehicle is noisy. It interrupts my naps, for who could sleep with such a ruckus? The commotion doesn’t seem to bother the others, but I just cannot stand it. I try to escape it, but there is no escape unless I go outdoors. Outdoors is frigid this time of year- not something I would like to take my naps in, not at all. I am putting in a request with the Mistress to be allowed into the main house for the duration of this man’s visits. I think I will do this in person, as it will be more convincing. Yes, I think that will be adequate. If you will excuse me, I must go write my script- there is no halfway doing for this feline. Good day to you all.
Lizzie here! Little Bit is acting odd lately. Well, Little Bit is naturally odd, but he’s acting more odd…this odd isn’t natural! He’s moving slower than usual, which is odd because he’s normally sprinting everywhere trying to be the first one to get to wherever. I can actually beat him to the door now- this, I admit, is quite wonderful because I get the prime spot for the Grandparents to pet me. Anyway! He isn’t going after food as crazily as before either. The Mistress will put our food down and Little Bit just slowly wanders up to it and doesn’t fight anyone for the best eating spot. Is he on a diet? He doesn’t need to be. He runs around so much he’s fit as a fiddle…looks like one, too. Maybe the sun is getting to him- his fur is all rusty colored in sunlight because he’s out in the sun so much it bleached his black fur. Hmm…I bet it’s the sun. Too much sunbathing. I have a healthy balance of sleeping in the shade and sun spots- the sun won’t be bleaching my gorgeous fur, no sir! Maybe I should tell Little Bit to get in the shade more often….actually, I think I’ll get Molly to tell him. He likes Molly. Wonder where that giant puffball has gone off to….I have a fluffy ginger to find. Later!
Lizzie here! I’m so frustrated! The Mistress is cleaning the ENTIRE office and throwing stuff away- some of it is MINE! I had stashes of toys hidden away- she found them and threw them away, saying something about how old and dirty they were. They were perfectly good toys! I still played with them! When I remembered them….sometimes….okay so I didn’t play with them much anymore but they were still mine and I wanted to keep them! Even though the smell of catnip had faded and was replaced with the smell of dust bunnies (betcha didn’t know those had smells huh? well, they do- and it doesn’t smell all that great). I think it gave them character. But the toys weren’t the end of it- the Mistress also rearranged! All of my hide-y holes are GONE! I can’t even get on top of stuff because it’s all covered over! Chairs are the only thing left free, and those certainly aren’t high enough, nor hide-y enough. The Mistress promises when it’s all done I will have my hide-y holes, new toys, and a special place just for cats to jump up on, but I’m not so sure about that. So far it looks like I’m going to have to knock a few things over in order to get a proper hide-y hole going. This takes quite a lot of time and effort, so I’m off to get started! Later!
Tipsy reporting in! I have quite an intriguing report today! I was doing my usual inspection of the Mistress’s computer, attempting to discover her whereabouts as she has been gone a week somewhere without disclosing her location to us cats, and found something new. I was quite excited about what I found and I’m sure you will be, too- apparently the Mistress intends to send off “Double Trouble” to Harlequin Intrigue Noir because they are looking for intense romantic suspense books and the Mistress is going to see if they are interested. This, of course, sparked my own interest, especially once I read the book and it turns out that it contains the story of a super-secret spy! Obviously I am the inspiration for this story, as I am the greatest cat spy in the world. One thing does not sit well with me, however- how did the Mistress gather all this information about me? My missions are top secret and I go to great lengths to keep others, like the government, from spying on me. Everything I do I keep secret. So how does the Mistress know all this? I must discover how. It is imperative to my continued status as a spy to make sure my movements are secret. I will keep an eye out for the Mistress from now on- if she can spy on me, certainly the government can as well. My plans and missions might already be in a file somewhere in a government building! If I discover how she has been spying on me, I may be able to build a defense against her methods and, in doing so, block the government as well! Quite an ingenious plan, if I do say so myself. I will also try to inspire another book to find out just how much the Mistress knows- perhaps if I do some super spy stuff in front of her? Yes, I think that will do. I must plan this out more- I must leave you now, fellow cats! Remember, beware the dogs- they work for the government! Tipsy out!
Lizzie here! It SNOWED today! I walked out of the office to white everywhere! I was really surprised- I didn’t think it would snow so much, nor did I think it would stick for long. It was still snowing when I walked outside and it looked SO pretty. I felt cold spots on my fur, like when rain falls on it, and looked to see snowflakes melting on my fur, sparkling in the sunlight. I looked GORGEOUS with the melted snowflakes adorning my fur, like little diamonds. Cold diamonds. I had to go back inside because so many flakes melted on me that it made me super cold! Unfortunately I couldn’t keep my cold diamonds- with heat and warmness came dryness. I hope it snows again soon so I can wear my cold diamonds again for a little while. I’m off to check the weather! Later!
Tipsy reporting in! There is a stranger in the office lately- and he brings many strange, horrible smelly things with him! I am keeping a close eye on this one- he has blocked off the kitchen portion of the office and bangs around in there for hours. Very suspicious. Even my perfect perch on the bookcase doesn’t give me any view of what this strange man is up to. The Mistress seems to be quite content with his being here, so I’m not sure if he’s here to annihilate us cats or not. He must not be a spy. Or maybe he is. I heard the word “contractor” in a discussion between this man and the Mistress. Who is he?! I have made it my new mission to investigate him thoroughly just to make sure the Mistress didn’t accidentally allow a spy into our home- it would turn out badly if he was truly a spy that came here to remove us cats in an effort to stop us all from banning together to protect ourselves and our own! Be wary of these “contractors” my fellow cats- be wary of any stranger, for there is no certainty as to whether it is a spy come to take you down or a simple human worker. Be wary! Be wary…Tipsy out.