Mary Alice Pritchard’s Blog

Lizzie here! I’m so excited! The weather is getting WARMER! It has been a bit wet lately, but it hasn’t been a super cold wet so I’m happy! The grass is getting greener and taller- perfect for stalking prey. I’ve gotten tired of short, crunchy grass. Makes sneaking up on prey very hard. The trees and flowers are also getting in to spring-shape- pollen EVERYWHERE. This I don’t like. Pollen makes me sneeze. And it makes my fur yellow. And when I try to clean it off my fur, it tastes nasty and leaves streaks. I can’t wait til the pollen business cuts out and all that’s left is warmth and soft, tall grass. Speaking of grass, I found a brightly colored egg in a clump of grass the other day. And in some tree roots. And a bush. And behind some stairs. They’re all over the place. What’s up with that? Did I miss something? Later the Mistress’ young family members were running about grabbing the eggs, whooping and hollering, and then they broke them open. Inside were multi-colored candies! I’ve never seen eggs like this- what kind of chicken lay those things? Is it a candy chicken? Does it taste sweet? Where can I get one of these candy chickens? I think I’ll do some research. I want a candy chicken. Later!

Hello all. I am Dippity Doo. I am most displeased with the happenings and whatnot here in the office. There is a man making the most horrid noise all over the place. It batters my nerves something awful. It’s quite dreadful. I cannot express just how terrible the noise truly is. It is a constant bombardment of these ear-grating sounds until this man leaves. I have come to detest his presence in the office. Even his motor vehicle is noisy. It interrupts my naps, for who could sleep with such a ruckus? The commotion doesn’t seem to bother the others, but I just cannot stand it. I try to escape it, but there is no escape unless I go outdoors. Outdoors is frigid this time of year- not something I would like to take my naps in, not at all. I am putting in a request with the Mistress to be allowed into the main house for the duration of this man’s visits. I think I will do this in person, as it will be more convincing. Yes, I think that will be adequate. If you will excuse me, I must go write my script- there is no halfway doing for this feline. Good day to you all.

Lizzie here! Little Bit is acting odd lately. Well, Little Bit is naturally odd, but he’s acting more odd…this odd isn’t natural! He’s moving slower than usual, which is odd because he’s normally sprinting everywhere trying to be the first one to get to wherever. I can actually beat him to the door now- this, I admit, is quite wonderful because I get the prime spot for the Grandparents to pet me. Anyway! He isn’t going after food as crazily as before either. The Mistress will put our food down and Little Bit just slowly wanders up to it and doesn’t fight anyone for the best eating spot. Is he on a diet? He doesn’t need to be. He runs around so much he’s fit as a fiddle…looks like one, too. Maybe the sun is getting to him- his fur is all rusty colored in sunlight because he’s out in the sun so much it bleached his black fur. Hmm…I bet it’s the sun. Too much sunbathing. I have a healthy balance of sleeping in the shade and sun spots- the sun won’t be bleaching my gorgeous fur, no sir! Maybe I should tell Little Bit to get in the shade more often….actually, I think I’ll get Molly to tell him. He likes Molly. Wonder where that giant puffball has gone off to….I have a fluffy ginger to find. Later!

Lizzie here! I’m so frustrated! The Mistress is cleaning the ENTIRE office and throwing stuff away- some of it is MINE! I had stashes of toys hidden away- she found them and threw them away, saying something about how old and dirty they were. They were perfectly good toys! I still played with them! When I remembered them….sometimes….okay so I didn’t play with them much anymore but they were still mine and I wanted to keep them! Even though the smell of catnip had faded and was replaced with the smell of dust bunnies (betcha didn’t know those had smells huh? well, they do- and it doesn’t smell all that great). I think it gave them character. But the toys weren’t the end of it- the Mistress also rearranged! All of my hide-y holes are GONE! I can’t even get on top of stuff because it’s all covered over! Chairs are the only thing left free, and those certainly aren’t high enough, nor hide-y enough. The Mistress promises when it’s all done I will have my hide-y holes, new toys, and a special place just for cats to jump up on, but I’m not so sure about that. So far it looks like I’m going to have to knock a few things over in order to get a proper hide-y hole going. This takes quite a lot of time and effort, so I’m off to get started! Later!

Tipsy reporting in! I have quite an intriguing report today! I was doing my usual inspection of the Mistress’s computer, attempting to discover her whereabouts as she has been gone a week somewhere without disclosing her location to us cats, and found something new. I was quite excited about what I found and I’m sure you will be, too- apparently the Mistress intends to send off “Double Trouble” to Harlequin Intrigue Noir because they are looking for intense romantic suspense books and the Mistress is going to see if they are interested. This, of course, sparked my own interest, especially once I read the book and it turns out that it contains the story of a super-secret spy! Obviously I am the inspiration for this story, as I am the greatest cat spy in the world. One thing does not sit well with me, however- how did the Mistress gather all this information about me? My missions are top secret and I go to great lengths to keep others, like the government, from spying on me. Everything I do I keep secret. So how does the Mistress know all this? I must discover how. It is imperative to my continued status as a spy to make sure my movements are secret. I will keep an eye out for the Mistress from now on- if she can spy on me, certainly the government can as well. My plans and missions might already be in a file somewhere in a government building! If I discover how she has been spying on me, I may be able to build a defense against her methods and, in doing so, block the government as well! Quite an ingenious plan, if I do say so myself. I will also try to inspire another book to find out just how much the Mistress knows- perhaps if I do some super spy stuff in front of her? Yes, I think that will do. I must plan this out more- I must leave you now, fellow cats! Remember, beware the dogs- they work for the government! Tipsy out!

Lizzie here! It SNOWED today! I walked out of the office to white everywhere! I was really surprised- I didn’t think it would snow so much, nor did I think it would stick for long. It was still snowing when I walked outside and it looked SO pretty. I felt cold spots on my fur, like when rain falls on it, and looked to see snowflakes melting on my fur, sparkling in the sunlight. I looked GORGEOUS with the melted snowflakes adorning my fur, like little diamonds. Cold diamonds. I had to go back inside because so many flakes melted on me that it made me super cold! Unfortunately I couldn’t keep my cold diamonds- with heat and warmness came dryness. I hope it snows again soon so I can wear my cold diamonds again for a little while. I’m off to check the weather! Later!

Tipsy reporting in! There is a stranger in the office lately- and he brings many strange, horrible smelly things with him! I am keeping a close eye on this one- he has blocked off the kitchen portion of the office and bangs around in there for hours. Very suspicious. Even my perfect perch on the bookcase doesn’t give me any view of what this strange man is up to. The Mistress seems to be quite content with his being here, so I’m not sure if he’s here to annihilate us cats or not. He must not be a spy. Or maybe he is. I heard the word “contractor” in a discussion between this man and the Mistress. Who is he?! I have made it my new mission to investigate him thoroughly just to make sure the Mistress didn’t accidentally allow a spy into our home- it would turn out badly if he was truly a spy that came here to remove us cats in an effort to stop us all from banning together to protect ourselves and our own! Be wary of these “contractors” my fellow cats- be wary of any stranger, for there is no certainty as to whether it is a spy come to take you down or a simple human worker. Be wary! Be wary…Tipsy out.

Lizzie here! Christmas was WONDERFUL! So much paper, bows, ribbons EVERYWHERE! It was cat heaven! And the tree….oh the tree! Dazzling lights all over it, shiny ornaments adorning the piney branches! All of us cats had fun hiding in it- I like to think I was best at being invisible, though. Molly was the worst- his big, fluffy tail was always sticking out of the branches, giving his location away. Tipsy was best at hiding among the presents- she scared many, people and cat alike. It got harder for her as the presents got unwrapped, but then she took to the tree so she still got to scare everyone even when all the presents were gone. I enjoyed the unwrapping process- I attacked every piece of wrapping that fell to the floor, and boy did I tear into that paper! The Mistress thought it was funny and snapped pictures of it- she thinks all those shots were spur of the moment, but I was totally posing. Gotta make sure the pictures all show off my beauty! The other cats helped attack the paper of course, and together we killed every piece of paper, ribbon, and bow to shreds. Well, with the exception of one bow. That bow was mine- the Mistress tied it around my neck. It was very pretty- all gold and sparkly…it went very well with my gorgeous ginger fur. No one was allowed to touch my bow. It lasted until I forgot it was on me and I rolled over- it got very smushed and deformed. I was sad to see it go, but it felt good to be able to scratch my neck without tangling my claws in it. Clean up wasn’t very fun, but the Mistress brought some of the paper to the office for us cats to play with for a bit- this was, of course, very thoroughly enjoyed, though I don’t think the Mistress liked the mess that followed. Before she went back to the house, the Mistress opened something else and dumped it on the floor- she had gotten us tons of new toys! Some jingled, others crackled, a few wiggled, most rolled…it was great fun! Add the shredded Christmas paper and it was ten times more exciting! That wasn’t all though- the Mistress gave us a little bit of turkey and ham from their dinner as a little Christmas treat. I think this was our best Christmas yet- I can’t decide which was the best part. Every part was the best I think. Did you have a great Christmas? Did your cats have a great Christmas? I hope you didn’t forget them! Every cat in the world deserves an amazing Christmas! I have spotted one of the new Christmas toys- it’s my favorite, all rainbow and sparkly and jingly and rolly….I must play with it. NOW. Hope you and your furry friends had a wonderful Christmas! Lizzie out!

Lizzie here! I have found my new favorite spot! The Mistress and the Grandparents have recently put lights on all of the bushes for Christmas and it is SO beautiful! It’s like fireflies…glittery….night sky…..lights! So many bright dots with such an attractive glow….I love laying in the bush and being surrounded by the lights! I feel like I’m transported to another place, a place all mine….without cats like Little Bit spoiling the beauty by complaining they’re too bright! Tipsy has discovered the splendor of the lights, though the effect produced is…well, it’s Tipsy. She flipped out when she first went into one of the bushes and found herself among the lights. She immediately went into her own little world, pretending to be a space cat and such. Needless to say, I’m not the only one who likes the Christmas lights being on the bushes. I can’t wait for the tree….THE TREE! They’re putting it up now! I must go! Later!

Lizzie here! Thanksgiving was GREAT! The Mistress gave all of us cats our own little plate of turkey and gravy! It was wonderful! It was marvelous! It was DELICIOUS! Can you tell I enjoyed it? Cuz I did. I enjoyed it very much. It would’ve been perfect if not for Little Bit. He threw a turkey tantrum! Apparently his share of turkey wasn’t big enough to suit his fancy so he yowled and made quite a pitiful spectacle for almost a whole hour before the Mistress finally told him he wasn’t getting any more turkey no matter how much he yowled and that he got the same amount as everyone else so he should be happy. Well, he wasn’t. He moped about, grumbling about how he deserved more than the rest of us. He got really excited when the door opened because he thought more turkey was coming through it, but it was just the trash from the making of the feast. Little Bit really got into trouble then. He tore through the trash bag and trash was flying EVERYWHERE. He helped himself to the leftovers, growling at the rest of us if we so much as looked in his direction. He didn’t get to enjoy his steal long though- Dippity was outside with us and he snitched on Little Bit. The Mistress scooped Little Bit up and put him in the office while she cleaned up his mess. She fussed at him a bit, but not too much- she said the top to the trash should have been secured better so he couldn’t have gotten to the trash in the first place. Wasn’t my fault! Later that night the Mistress brought out more turkey for us as a surprise, I think mostly for Little Bit since he was such a baby about it. I guess his turkey tantrum worked out for all us cats. I’m certainly not complaining! Maybe he’ll do it again next year….that’s it for now- I’m off to see what all the banging from the attic is!